I'm So Lost Without You
by Hamster Fan
Summary: Stan Marsh has hit an all time low. He has gone Goth again, is back on playing Heroin Hero, and has stopped talking to everyone. All this because Kyle had broken up with him for an unknown reason. STYLE slash. Don't like then don't read. Please R&R.


**Hello fellow STYLE lovers! Well at least I hope you are because you will probably not like this story if you don't like StanxKyle. I personally think it's the best couple. Yeah I know there are a ton of STYLE stories but what's wrong with that? You can't have too much of a good thing right?**

**This is my longest one-shot so far so I hope you like it. Please don't flame me because you don't like the pairing. You shouldn't even read it if you don't like it. **

**Anyway they are kids in this story since I don't really like it when they are teenagers. I don't think it's realistic to the show. They also obviously from the summary were dating already in this story just to remind you. **

**Now on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, but I own this story. **

**I'm So Lost Without You**

Stan Marsh walked down the sidewalks of South Park with his hands in his pockets looking at the ground. He was wearing all black clothes again and looked very similar as to when he went Goth the first time. This time however he felt way worse than when Wendy broke up with him. He didn't hang out with the other Goth kids but instead mostly stayed by himself. Those kids thought they knew what real pain was but Stan now knew they didn't. He had learned the hard way what real pain is and he had not been the same since that horrible day. The day Kyle broke up with him.

_Flashback_

Stan was heading to Stark's pond because Kyle had told him to meet him there. It was a dark cloudy day and looked like it was about to rain any second. Part of Stan's mind wondered why Kyle could want to meet him outside alone with the weather like this. He figured it must be something urgent.

When he arrived he saw Kyle sitting alone on a bench with his back to him looking at the water. Stan didn't say anything as he walked over to Kyle and sat next to him. He smiled at Kyle but it quickly faded when he realized how upset his boyfriend was. Kyle took a long time to stop looking at the water and look the other boy. Stan could see deep distress in Kyle's eyes so he asked, "Kyle, you okay?"

Kyle shook his head and finally said, "No Stan, we need to talk".

Stan frowned even more. "About what?"

Kyle took a deep breath and said, "These past few months have been great. We've never been closer and our parents and friends have accepted us for who we are".

"Yeah, so what is the problem?" Stan asked a bit curiously.

Kyle closed his eyes and looked away and said so quietly that Stan did not hear, "I can't do this".

He looked back at Stan and the other boy noticed tears forming in Kyle's eyes. "Stan... I don't want to be with you anymore."

That simple sentence made Stan's heart shatter. He stared at Kyle for a moment before saying, "W-why I thought we were happy together".

"I'm sorry but I wasn't," said Kyle and without another word he got off the bench and walked away.

Stan was too shocked to follow Kyle but instead watched him get farther and farther away. Thunder rumbled from above and it started to steadily rain. Stan didn't leave that spot for a very long time.

_End Flashback_

That day was a little over a month ago. Kyle had not spoken to him after that day and Stan was not the same since.

Stan never felt so alone in his life. He had tried at first to talk to Kyle about breaking up but his ex would avoid him at all costs. Stan eventually gave up trying, changed his appearances, and stayed to himself. He knew could not try and get back with Wendy because he had broken up with her to be with Kyle. His family was worried about him and so was Kenny.

Kenny would try to cheer Stan up but nothing worked and Stan kept blowing him off to the point that he had given up. Kenny also stopped talking to Kyle because he was furious about how Kyle had broken Stan's heart.

When Stan reached his house he saw that he family wasn't home. He was glad because he wasn't in the mood to talk to them, then again he was never in the mood to talk to anyone anymore.

Stan took a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He then went over to the TV, turned it on and his XBOX and sat down with his controller in his hand. The television came to life and displayed the game Heroin Hero.

Now Stan had promised himself that he would never go back to Heroin Hero ever again, but after what happened he got back on it whenever no one was around. As soon as he started to chase the virtual dragon he felt less stressed. His problems seem to go away and felt mellowed out.

_Meanwhile_

Kyle was sitting in a stool at the bar in Mick's bowling ally just outside of town. He had just finished a glass of Mountain Dew and put it with the half a dozen other empty glasses and countless empty sugar packets. Kyle was starting to feel dizzy and hyper at the same time but he ignored it and shouted, "Hey Mick! I need another Mountain Dew!"

Mick came over looking a bit concerned as he handed him another glass of soda. Kyle smiled, quickly opened several more sugar packets, and poured them all into the drink. As Kyle was chugging the drink the owner of the bowling ally said, "Hey kid don't you think you've had enough sugar?"

"When you have been though what I have you can never have enough," said Kyle.

"Seriously kid you're going to make yourself sick," said Mick.

Kyle gave a small chuckle and said, "Yeah and what's funny about me doing this is that I'm diabetic".

"What?! That's it, I'm not giving you any more sodas!"

Kyle glared at the man, climbed up onto the bar counter, and grabbed him by his shirt collar. "Look," Kyle yelled. "I've been having a very rough time so you had better get me some more god damn sodas!"

Mick nervously looked at Kyle and then something caught his eyes and he glanced at the arm Kyle was using to hold his shirt. Kyle's orange jacket sleeve was pushed up slightly and Mick saw several cuts on his arm made by what looked like a knife.

Kyle noticed Mick staring at him arm and let go of the man hastily pushed his sleeve back down.

"You need help kid," said Mick.

"Mick, you have no idea," Kyle said suddenly sounding sad.

_Back at Stan's House_

Stan had been playing Heroin Hero for over two hours now non stop and he still of course did not catch the dragon. He was beginning to feel nauseous now and barely knew what he was doing anymore.

Suddenly deciding he needed some fresh air got off the couch and stumbled to his front door. He went outside not even bothering to turn the game off and started to walk away from his house. This was difficult for him since he was so messed up from playing Heroin Hero.

As he was walking (not even knowing or caring where he was going) he began to have hazy memories about when he and Kyle got together.

_Flashback_

Stan and Kyle were having a sleepover at Kyle's house. It was just the two of them in Kyle's room and it was well past midnight. They we not even considering going to bed yet since they were so wide awake from playing non-stop videogames. Kyle's mom had eventually sent them to be so the two boys were sitting on the floor trying to think of something to do.

"Did you think of anything to do yet?" Stan asked his friend.

"No not yet," said Kyle.

A moment later he thought of something. "We could share personal thoughts,"

"Dude, isn't that something mostly girls do?" Stan asked.

"I don't know, isn't having sleepovers something mostly girls do?" Kyle questioned back.

"Touché," said Stan.

Kyle laughed and said, "Okay so what's on your mind right now?"

Stan stared into Kyle's green eyes and suddenly realized how beautiful they were. They seemed to sparkle like emeralds.

When Stan didn't say anything Kyle waved a hand in front of Stan's face saying, "Hello? I asked you what you're thinking about."

Completely without thinking Stan replied, "Your beautiful eyes".

The look of shock on Kyle's face snapped Stan out of his trance and he realized what he had said. He quickly covered his mouth with his hands for a moment before saying, "I d-didn't mean that! What I meant to say was..."

He was then cut off by Kyle. "I love your eyes too".

Stan was now even more surprised than Kyle was. "Do you want to know what my personal thought is?" Kyle asked calmly.

Stan didn't say anything so he continued, "My thought is that I've liked you for awhile now."

Kyle was not afraid Stan would reject him. He had seen that loving look on Stan face before and was sure that Stan felt the same as he did.

When Stan finally found his voice all he could say was, "How long?"

"About a year."

Stan gulped nervously. "I think I like you too."

Stan saw Kyle's eyes seem to light up. "More than Wendy?"

"Yeah."

"Then we should be together," said Kyle so casually it was if they were talking about the weather.

"But what about our parents...and Cartman?" Stan asked a bit worried.

Kyle snorted, "Screw Cartman I don't care what he thinks and as for our parents, I'm sure they will accept us."

Stan smiled at Kyle, got on his knees from sitting, and hugged his new boyfriend. Kyle happily hugged back.

_End Flashback_

Stan enjoyed visiting those happy memories except they were difficult to think about with all the painful ones he had. He had never kissed Kyle but greatly enjoyed being with him.

When Stan started to feel a little less dizzy he found out that he had wandered to the bowling ally. Deciding he needed a soda he went inside.

Kyle who was still sitting at the bar did not notice Stan walk in. He was too busy dumping a sugar packet in his mouth.

"That's it kid you have to leave!" said Mick pointing to the door.

Kyle threw down the empty packet and yelled, "Fine! Thanks for nothing!"

Feeling more dizzy than ever Kyle got off the bar stool ad spotted Stan standing nearby staring at him. Before Kyle could say anything he suddenly felt way worse. He started to have difficulty standing for a moment then he passed out on the floor.

Stan saw this and the shock completely snapped him out of his wasted state. "Kyle!" he yelled and ran over to him. He lifted Kyle's head with his hand and saw that he was out cold and barely breathing.

He looked over a Mick to see that he was calling an ambulance. Stan felt a little sick knowing that he would now have to go to the hospital. Despite this he stayed by Kyle's side as the paramedics picked Kyle up and rushed him to the hospital.

_Several Hours Later _

Kyle woke up to the sound of a heart monitor and the smell of a hospital. He felt something sharp in his arm so he looked around and saw that he had an IV connected to a bag of insulin in his arm. For the moment he had no idea why he was there. He then noticed something in the corner of his eye. Next to the hospital bed he was in with his head down covering his face on the edge of the bed was Stan.

The sight of Stan in his Goth clothing reminded him about his depressed sugar incident. "Stan?" Kyle said quietly.

Stan had not been asleep so he heard Kyle and quickly lifted his head to look at him. "Kyle!" Stan said happily.

He resisted the urge to jump up on the bed and hug Kyle when he remembered that they were no longer together. Once he realized this his expression returned emotionless and slightly pained once again.

"How are you feeling," Stan asked with no more excitement and joy in his voice.

"Better thanks, but what are you doing here Stan? I thought you hated me," said Kyle.

Stan dropped the Goth attitude again and looked shock. "Kyle I could never hate you,"

Kyle smiled at first then frowned asking a strange question. "Where's Cartman?"

Stan raised an eyebrow and replied, "I don't know. Why?"

Kyle ignored his question and said quickly, "Does he know you came here to see me?"

"No dude, why do you care?"

Kyle nervously looked around before saying, "No reason."

Just then Stan's cell phone vibrated so he took it out of his pocket to see he had a text from Kenny. He opened his phone and read:

Stan,

Tell Kyle I took care of everything. Cartman is being sent to juvenile hall. He'll know what it means.

Your constantly dying friend,

Kenny 

"Who was it?" Kyle asked.

"It was Kenny but his message doesn't make any sense but he said for me to tell you it and you'll understand," said Stan and he reread the message out loud to Kyle.

Stan was surprised to see such a look of relief on Kyle's face. "Oh thank God," Kyle whispered.

"Kyle, what the hell is going on?" Stan half demanded.

Kyle smiled at Stan and said, "It's Cartman, he's finally being locked away for what he did".

What?"

"The day before we broke up Cartman came to me and said he was sick of us being together," said Kyle and continued. "Since he loves to see me suffer he told me that either I break up with you and never even talk to you again...or he would kill you".

Stan was shocked, "What?! How could that asshole?!"

Kyle nodded in agreement, "I know and I was so scared for your life that I did what he said and broke up with you. Believe me I didn't want to".

"But this is Cartman we're talking about. You have never been scared of him before. Why didn't you just kick his ass?" Stan asked.

"Because dude, Cartman never threatened your life before! And besides look at all the think he's gotten away with. He gave me AIDS once God's sake! I would never forgive myself if he hurt you!" said Kyle.

Stan didn't know what to say so he asked, "So how did Kenny find out?"

"I don't know, he must have figured it out, had proof, and reported that fatass for me".

"So does this mean we can be together again?" Stan asked hopefully.

Kyle smiled and said, "Well yeah. Cartman isn't around to bother us anymore. But do you still want to be with me after I broke your heart?"

Stan didn't answer, instead he climbed up onto the hospital bed and passionately kissed Kyle on the lips. Kyle happily returned the kiss and when they pulled away after a long moment he said, "Just promise me you will stop being Goth".

Stan chuckled and replied, "Okay as long as you never go on a sugar rampage again".

"Deal," said Kyle.

"I love you".

"I love you too Stan".

**The End**

**Aww wasn't that cute? I like how this turned out. Please review but don't flame me because you don't like the couple. **


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